commitment

I still have it.
I can't bring myself to give it up
        yet.
It means something,
something I don't understand.

I haven't seen it since you left.
It's in a black box tucked away.
I remember it when people laugh,
when they smile and are happy.

Today I found it in my mind,
felt the weight of it in my hand,
looked on as it glistened,
until the water ran cold and my toes wrinkled.

I can find it in the shower,
when I hold my own arms.
That means something,
something I don't understand
        yet.